Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Wrapping A Present: Try Something Different

How To Add a little Twist to your present wrapping!

After 5 wonderful years of marriage so far, i've continually tried to go that "extra step" to keep things fresh.  

Lets take this present for example.  With my wifes birthday fast approaching, I got a couple small gifts for her that would easily fit in this small box.  Now... that could have been the end of the gift giving process, but my mind continually goes that "extra mile" in order to keep those smiles I love to see, comin'.  

So, I decided to pick up a little stuffed animal to add to the whole wonderment of what else could be in the box as well as bump the "OH MY GOD THAT IS SO CUTE" factor up to level 10!  

Any man who is truly into his lady will go the extra mile to make the process of giving a present, that much more special.  

So, without further ado, here is a simple twist in the Oh-So-Common, gift giving process:

1.  Get a box!  Duh Right?  I did this twice, so I wanted to make sure to mention this.  Get a box that fits your gift as tight as possible, with room to put the animal on top of that gift.

 2.  Again, make sure the actual present in the box is wrapped up tight so it wont slide around in the box.  I have thin sheets of foam for packing, that I was able to quickly wrap the present in, making it fit snug and not move once the box was sealed 

 3.  Once the present is snug in the box, bring in your favorite stuffed animal.  TIP (if you can find a small giraffe, go for it!  Seeing that huge long neck sticking out of the box makes all the ladies go.. "ahhhhhh")  Position the animal in the box so that once closed, the head will stick out the top.  You don't have to always put the animal dead center.  For example, with this little pug, his legs had to be tucked in the right corner of the box for this to work.  All animals will require different positions.   

4.  Close the 2 inside flaps around the neck of the animal.  Next, close 1 of the 2 remaining top flats so that it just touches the animals head.  From here you will be able to judge the width of the cut you need to make.  Simple mark the width of the head of the animal.  TIP (I didn't do it here, but instead of marking the exact width of the head, bring your edge cut marks in 1/4 of an inch or so, to make the hole for the head to pop out fit tightly around the neck of the animal.)  Repeat the process on the final top flap.  

5.  You don't need to remove the animal in the cutting process.  Just be careful not to slice it up!  Cut a C shape from end to end of your marks.  There is no exact measurement so you will have to do all this by eye.  TIP (As I did here, try to make just 1 cut on each top flap.  If you cut to small and have to go back and cut again, the cut can look a bit sloppy.) 

6.  Your basically done at this point.  OR, you can again, go that extra mile and have some fun in personally decorating your box.  To finish up, simply close the box up and there should be a circle in the middle of the box for the head of your stuffed animal to pop out of.  If you did it right, the animal should fit snugly and just the animals head will be sticking out of the box.   

7.  TAPE IT UP!  I fortunately have the luck of using real packing tape.  This makes for decorating the box by hand much easier.  Any other kind of tape, that is clear, you just can't draw over, so if you want to draw on the box yourself, I suggest getting real, brown packing tape.  

8.  YOUR DONE, Or Are You  Honestly, at this point your done.  You can give this gift to your lady or "significant other" and you will score huge points.  However, like I've said before.  I like to go that extra mile all the time.  With that said, I drew a little sunflower on the top of the box around the hole.  YOU CANT DRAW???   Who cares.  The only thing that maters is that you try!  Its true.  Im a graphic designer by trade, but truth be told, I cant draw for shit!  Draw something cute or personal to your lady.  My girt likes sunflowers. Thus I will be getting the EXTRA "ooohhhss and ahhhhss"  not to mention more kisses and I love you's.


9.  oI would love to hear this has inspired someone to try this.  Please leave a comment if you have time.  Once you try this, you will never give a gift the same way again.  I've been married now 5 years.  I love doing new things like this to make my beautiful wife smile.  She deserves it.  She does so much and deserves every effort I can give to make her happy.  


 Bottom line in all aspects of life:  BE CREATIVE.

-C. Petrini

If you would like to check out some of my professional work, or stay connected to see upcoming cool ideas like this, please subscribe to my blog or friend my business on facebook.  

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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Things Apple is worth more than

ALL THE LEGAL DRUGS IN THE WORLD!



The worldwide illegal drugs trade is now worth an ­estimated £200 billion (~ $321 billion US)

The Entire National Football League - TIMES 10X!

The annual NFL football franchise valuations list has just been released by Forbes (full list here).  This year - for the first time ever - the average franchise in the league is worth over a billion dollars.  15 of the NFL’s 33 franchises are worth over a billion apiece.  The most valuable team is the Dallas Cowboys, valued at $1.85 billion.
If you added up all the value of every team in the NFL, you’d come up with some $33 billion as your total.  With Apple’s current market cap of roughly $380 billion, it is worth more than ten times that!






The Great Wall Of China

“3.873 billion bricks in the Great Wall of China * $.52 per brick = Apple is worth more than the Great Wall of China”






The Construction Of The Interstate Highway System



One of the more ambitious public works projects ever done in the United States was the construction of the Interstate Highway System. Over 35 years from 1956 to 1991, some 47 thousand miles of highway were built with the program at an estimated cost of 477 billion dollars (estimates in 1996 dollars, 2006, and 2009; inflation adjusted). With a market cap of 487 billion dollars, Apple is worth more than the construction of the highways across America.

Apple Is Worth More Than 1 Billion iPads



Today Apple stock finally crossed over the $500 per share mark, meaning that a single share now costs more than an iPad2 (which starts at $499.00 on Apple’s website.  Put another way, the entire market cap of Apple would buy you just a smidge over $1 billion iPads - just in case you were playing Santa Claus to the entire galaxy or something!

The United States Aircraft Carrier Fleet



The aircraft carrier is the ultimate expression of the ability for a nation to project military power globally. The United States operates 10 Nimitz class aircraft carriers. At a cost of $4.5 billion dollars each, the 10 carriers cost roughly $50 billion dollars to build and develop. Over the next 30 years the US Navy will move to to the Gerald R. Ford class aircraft carrier. Each is expected to cost $9 billion dollars. Assuming complete replacement, over $90 billion dollars will be spent to procure the next generation carriers. With a market cap of over $450 billion, Apple is worth more than the symbols of US military power projection a few times over.

Retail Sales of Electricity in the United States


 Retail sales of electricity amounted to $350 billion dollars in 2009 (Last completed survey by US Energy Administration). With a market capitalization of over $400 billion, Apple is worth more than all the money spent powering gadgets for an entire year in the United States.

Worldwide Lottery Sales



Worldwide lottery sales amounted to 240 billion dollars in 2009 (best free statistics available). Assuming even 10-15% growth to 2011 year end, Apple’s 400 billion market cap engulfs the money spent on hopeful thinking.

The Global Coffee Industry



The global coffee industry employ some 25 million people and generates $70 billion dollars a year. With a market cap of over $400 billion, Apple is worth more than 5 years of the coffee industry. In addition, Apple’s $46 billion in revenue in the last quarter eclipses the United States coffee industry value, estimated at $19 billion.

The United States Beef Consumption

beef

The retail value of consumed beef in the U.S. was 74 Billion dollars in 2010. 26.4 billion pounds were consumed. At a market cap of 390 billion, Apple is worth more than all the steaks and cook out goodies for an entire year in the United States.

Four American Civil Wars



The United States Civil War was the most terrible conflict in American history. Casualties for the Civil War amounted to more American casualties than all other American wars combined.  The entire country stopped and fought for 4 long years. Estimates for the cost of the Civil War range from 75 Billion to 84 Billion. While the cost in lives lost cannot be measured, Apple with a market cap of 360 Billion is worth more than 4 American Civil Wars.

Two Entire Apollo Space Programs


 




The space race was one of the most public and contested conflicts of the Cold War. The United States, having decided that beating the Soviet Union to the Moon was in the nations best interest, pushed forward with a Moon landing no matter the cost.  The Apollo Space Program was given top priority and spending was fast track approved. The final cost of the project was (inflation adjusted) 145-170 billion dollars. Apple at 370 billion is worth more than two entire Apollo space programs.

The United States Automotive Aftermarket



The automotive aftermarket includes:
”..all products and services purchased for light and heavy duty vehicles after the original sale including replacement parts, accessories, lubricants, appearance products, tires, collision repairs, service repairs as well as the tools and equipment necessary to make the repair.”

According to the Automotive Aftermarket Industry Association (AAIA), it is valued at $285 billion and employs approximately 4.5 million people.  $380 Billion has it covered.

Twice the Entire US Clothing Store Business



This one’s gonna mess you up…according to First Research, there are about 100,000 retail clothing stores in the US although it is a very concentrated industry.  The 50 largest companies - like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Gap, Limited Brands, Abercrombie & Fitch and Ross Stores - account for about 65 percent of industry revenue.
The combined annual revenue for the entire apparel retail industry is around $150 billion.
With Apple’s current valuation of $380 billion, it worth more than twice that.

All the Gold at the New York Federal Reserve

As of August 1st, the New York Federal Reserve Bank in lower Manhattan (made famous in the Bruce Willis flick Die Hard With a Vengeance) was stocked with approximately 7,000 gleaming tons of gold.



The New York Fed is the largest store of gold bullion in the United States and in the world.  According to Alex Jones, this stockpile is worth some $350 billion USD.  And Apple, with its now $385 billion market cap is worth more.


The Entire Economy of Singapore

Singapore is one of the wealthiest countries in the world owing to a government that is hyper-friendly towards business yet very strict on corruption.  The country boasts an astounding $70,000 GDP per capita rate and has been minting millionaires by the truckload despite the global economic turbulence of the last decade.
Singapore’s national GDP in 2016 is projected at $318 billion…and Apple is worth even more.



The Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter,Stephen King, and Twilight Franchise Combined

Star Wars: 18 Billion
Star Trek: 4 Billion
Harry Potter: 15 Billion
Stephen King: 10 Billion
Twilight: 2 Billion
Total: 49 Billion.
 
(all numbers are approximate and it’s still not even close.)

The GDP of Denmark



Denmark has a powerhouse economy for such a small workforce (2.9 million workers).
At $337 billion, Denmark ranks as the 32nd largest economy in the world (by GDP) and 5th in GDP per capita.
But Apple is bigger!

The Combined GDP of Israel, Syria, Jordan and Lebanon

Apple is worth more than the GDP of Israel($213B), Syria($60B), Jordan($28B) & Lebanon($43B) combined!


Worth more than 10X all the child support paid last Year

 ”Total U.S. child support collections in Federal fiscal year 2006 totaled $23.9 billion, $11 billion of which was paid to families who have never been recipients of public assistance.”



child support

Every Single Home in Atlanta, Georgia Combined

According to Zillow, the total value of all residential real estate in Atlanta, Georgia was $274.8 billion as of December 2010, making it the 8th largest housing market in the United States.
And Apple is worth more.


Total Corporate Income Tax for 2011

Corporations will pay a total of $247.2 billion in state, local and federal income tax this year.


American Obesity

“The economic cost of obesity in America is $300 billion”

image

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Superbowl Betting Trends: Trends To Condsider When Betting on the SuperBowl 2012

Put Some Coin in your pocket this Superbowl!
When betting the SuperBowl (or any other game for that matter) there is one... yes, JUST ONE thing you must always keep in mind.  Bet with your wallet, not your heart. 

With that said, I thought it pertinent to share a few points of interest, or trends to consider when betting on this years 2012 SuperBowl, or any SuperBowl game for that matter.  Below you will find a list of trends I've compiled of flat out facts to betting the game. 

And one phrase we all know by heart is this. 
"The Numbers Don't Lie". 

Lest anyone think for one second that I care about either of these teams, I don't.  I tend to always lean towards the underdog in any story, and seeing as how much of our family roots hail from New York, I should be "rooting" for the Giants.  However, as with any bet, my heart lies with the money and trends / the numbers speak for themselves.  

So, without further a due, here a just a few things to consider when making your SuperBowl bets:

ON THE FIELD
  1. Thirty-two teams that have been favored in the Super Bowl have gone on to win the past 45 games. That’s 71.1 percent
  2. When the Super Bowl line is +/- 3.0 for either team, the underdog is 3-2 ATS.  Not the best odds.
  3. Since 2000 the underdog has only won the Super Bowl 30 percent of the time!  since the Giants are one of the teams that’s proven how good they are in the Super Bowl as dogs, is this really a worry?
  4. When it comes to single-digit odds in the Super Bowl, the favorite has gone 25-6 ATS in 31 games.
  5. Statistically the OVER has hit 21 out of 44 times (original Super Bowl did not have a total), which is just 48 percent.
  6. With the overs sitting around 55 and likely to go up a point or two by kick off, here is a little number to make you seriously think about the unders... The average TOTAL in the Super Bowl is just 41.7. 
  7. The only time that games with 50+ point totals have actually hit the mark in the OVER is when they’re blowouts.  This game should be very close, which is obvious by the spread of 3.
PROP BETS
  1. Heads or Tails Coin Toss:  The Best Odds In Betting at a solid 50%!  Tails has a slight edge landing 23 out of 45 games so far...that’s just a slim 51 percent winning percentage.
  2. Heads or Tails Coin Toss #2:  The Best Odds In Betting at a solid 50%!  Over the past 3 Years, and YES, 3 SuperBowl Games, Heads has landed three times in a row. It’s bound to come up tails, right? Tails is due!
  3. How Many Times Will Peyton Manning Be Shown On Television During The Game? :  NBC will cut to Peyton anytime Eli does anything good or bad, and it'll continue all game. This is the easiest money on the board.  OVER 4!  Easy Money!
  4. Team To Score Last In The Game:  Win or lose, the Giants always play better in the fourth quarter. Gotta go with New York.
  5. How Many Viewers Will The Super Bowl Average? : Over/Under 117 MILLION.  The NFL sets a new ratings record every other week, this game features two of the most recognizable teams in any sport, it's fair to bet the Super Bowl audience will exceed expectations.
  6. The First Score Of The Game Will Be...: Touchdown (-180) Field Goal or Safety (+150)  The honest truth here is simple.  Both teams will be mentally exhausted at the start of the game.  There will be mistakes until both teams settle in.  While Tom is a little more conservative the Bill, both coaches will be eager to get any points on the board.  Im going Field Goal on some good money here!
  7. Will Either Team Win By 14.5 Points Or More? : Patriots (+350) Giants (+800) The Giants don't seem like a team capable of blowing anyone out -- that's just not how they're wired to win -- but the Patriots at 3.5 to 1? Not a bad bet.
A FINAL THOUGHT
 
History makes dust and ghosts of us all. But in the moment you can be a hero, if you play the numbers right. A tight line is fitting for this game, but the Super Bowl averages and odds lean towards the Patriots even if the matchup doesn’t necessarily do the same. And as unsexy as taking an UNDER is, it’s your best bet along with tabbing a kicker to score the opening points!

partial sources: Tim Furious / Andrew Sharp - Some smart dudes and great sports writers!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

True Hate Still Exists. Really?

Tuesday - 01-10-12 - Sun is shining, birds are singing and jews are still hated. 

I know this is no revelation, but I was surprisingly SHOCKED to learn today that a gentlemen who is employed at one of my many jobs, is a flat out, balls to the wall, thank you come again... JEW HATER!

His reason.  "Well... becuase!"  END QUOTE!

Yes.  He is German. 

And that's the story.  He is German, thus he hates the dirty, filthy, lower than scum Jew! 

Though not very well explained above, this is no revelation.  Hatred exists all over.  I must say though I was a bit taken back to hear that a man in my employe really just hates jews.  Of course that hatred still exists, but honestly... when was the last time you heard of or even met someone for that matter, that just flat out hates jews?  Racism stems across the board, but JEWS? 

I must say, it was a first for me.  Thus I was a bit taken back.  Upon minor prodding of this nameless man, his answer was simply he hates Jews just because.  Its been quite some time since I've wanted to slap someone.  Just look them in the face and say, "ya know what, you deserve this." BOOM.  5 across the cheek.  You know.  The type of slap you could do to a woman back in the day, that men still wish they could do sometimes, but can't because of "Jail Time." 

(kidding of course)

So as I sit here and type this, I can't help but think of how my day started.  Much like any other day.  I wake up, look to my right, check out my beautiful wife, pinch myself to make sure yet again that waking up to her wasn't a dream, grab a cup of joe and off to work. 

Only this day, and at this moment, Im thinking of the man downstairs that smiles at the fact that all those jews were persecuted by mister Hitler.  In fact, if he could, and there was a "Jew" standing in front of him, he would spit in there face, knock em out, drag em home, crank the oven to high and try to stuff that particular "Jew" in his oven.  Yes.  He would!

To be honest, I don't know if I am more upset by learning this about this person, or further intrigued as to trying to figure out why this man hates so much for no other reason than... "Just Because."  I guess to immerse my self in that type of thinking, I should first read Hitlers book Mein Kampf, or turn on the history channel and figure shit out. 

All in all the day turned for me.  Im not mad or upset, as I am intrigued to understand. 

Why does any hate exist? 

Why envelopes a persons being to truly hate... anything....
let alone someone.....
let alone a type of someone?

Oh, by the way... here is what Hitler would look like today.



















 thINK!   

 C|PETRINI|2012

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Hidden BaBa Booey Plug On The X-Files

I had to share this with all my Howard Stern / BaBa Booey Fans.  I searched and could not find anything on this, so I had to post it for everyone. 

In Season 1, Episode 21 of The X-Files, Fox Mulder and Scully are sitting in the car, apparently on a stakeout of an FBI Suspect.  Scully makes some remarks about the car being smelly and in need of a cleaning... Fast forward a bit and Fox mentions how long he has been in the car, by saying he sat through... "4 Hours Of BaBa Booey." 

I know, I know.  I'm a geek for both Xfiles and The King Of All Media.  I had to share! 

Cheers!
-Chris Petrini

http://youtu.be/EEsNHiNDKZQ

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Posess more than 10 avacados at a time, and your going to jail!


Local Man addicted to avocados, narrowly escapes jail.  I guess if youjust tell them your feeding your family, then all is well. 

Next time you decide to steal a car, or break into someones house.  Just tell the police the following... "I'm desperate to support my family." 

Apparently all they eat is avocados?  I don't know.  You be the judge. 

Monday, September 5, 2011

SPIKE TV Star Wars Labor Day Weekend Contest Codes

Here are a few of the codes you can use to enter the contest. I doubt they are all of them, but should I see more on tv, I will blog them to ya.

Each code is an entry and must be text to: 44686

1. PALPATINE
2. BOBAFETT
3. ACKBAR

Remember... Text one code at a time to 44686 to enter the contest. You can do just one if you like. Either way you will be entered in the contest to win the complete Star Wars Blue Ray DVD collection and a new Light Saber Toy.

good luck!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Cutest Cat / Human Interaction Photo.... EVER??

Have you ever seen A CAT
give someone A HUG?  



Well.  I can honestly say that I never knew cat's gave hugs until we were lucky enough to get our paws on Alice.  Every cat is definitely different.  No two cats are ever alike and they each have there own very unique personalities.



If your like me, you have never in your life seen a cat give a person a hug.  I even did some quick research and could not easily find a, "cats-eye" view of a cat hugging someone.

Is this the first?  Who knows.  Better yet, who cares.  I do know one thing though.  This is one damn cute photo.

As a pet owner and lover, I shower my animals with love, as does my wife.  So, it could be that Alice has always seen us hug and kiss and just thought this is what you do in this family.  She doesn't hug anyone else.  Just us.  And thank god to.  Last thing we need is a "whore-hugger" cat runnin wild in the house.

So enjoy it folks.  Shoot me a message, email or post a comment.  Let me know what you think.  I think i'll try and put this photo up for cutest cat of the year or something.  I dunno.  She deserves it though I can tell you that.

None of the photos are fake.  Just a cat, her daddy and a whole lotta love...

Feel free to share with your fam and friends.  This is just one of those day brightners ya know.  Makes you wonder though.  Who's the man behind the kitty??  Is it me?  Is he handsome?  Does he really have a soft, gentle side or is the kitty just a horrible ploy to hide the fact that he is indeed the Timbuck County Tri State Gerbil Killer?

One may never know....



One final thought... Do yourself a favor.  Clear your mind, take a deep brea7h and give a good look at the first photo.... just som3thing     PURE and beautiful about it.  Makes you feel all warm and squishy inside.  

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

THE "REAL" DEAL - Starring The Burger King Double Stacker

A first in a new series I will be featuring, title THE REAL DEAL.

This series will feature an endless number of photos showing you what fast food companies project their product to be, versus what you will actually receive when you unwrap their tasty treat.  


First UP:  THE BK DOUBLE STACKER
COST:  $2.00 PLUS TAX or almost $6 Bucks for the small combo.


Thats right.  You read that correctly.  ALMOST $6 of your Hard Earned Dollars for a horrible burger, decent fries and a small drink.  

Do yourself a favor and give your friend $5 bucks and have that person kick you in the stomach!  You'll be surprised how you will instantly not be hungry, and you save a buck!  





Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Any Designer Can Attest: "Friends" and "Family" always ask us to drop everything to help them out..

Thanks to David at 27bslash6 for this genius thread. Check out the rest of his stuff here. 

Missing Missy: Perhaps The Best Email Forward Of All Time.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

IPAD 2 Short Story - The story of a man and his quest for the new IPAD2

Apple;  Making Adults Feel Like Kids Again.

A Second can seem like an eternity.

It was late afternoon that Friday in March.  The weather was warm, there was a slight breeze coming up from the ocean and sun was starting to fade as we got closer to 5pm.  

Nation wide, Apple was to release its newest version of the IPAD2 at 5pm sharp.  No sooner and no later, would the sale of this magnificent product go on sale. 

Like many others, I got off work early that day only to most certainly wait in line for my new gadget.  I thought I would give myself an hour before release time, thinking that would easily put me towards the front of the line.  Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.  

101, 102...112, 113.  There I was.  Staking my place, 114th in line.  Certainly no where near the front and by 5pm, i was nowhere near the back.  I was no right in the middle of it.

I could not see the front from where I was, but I could certainly tell when the doors opened, as the line took a big step forward and everyone almost instantly became a backpack to the person in front of them.  As I inched forward to the finish line, I was approached by 2 of the 20 or so gentlemen keeping this "event" in check.  "Which I Pad were you going to purchase today sir."  I quickly and eagerly stuttered the words, "Uhhh... Thu..thu..the, Thee The Black, 32 gig WIFI only model."  Whew.  There I said it.  

The young gentlemen followed a line down the paper with his pen and came to the only box left in the "32 gig black WIFI only" section that did not have a check mark in it.  The young man stopped, looked at me, and repeated once again the model and type that I requested.  The second in which it took to process the question he had asked me, to the time I spewed out the simple answer of "That's the one", seemed like an eternity.  We're they out of those models? Did they no longer have it in black?  Would I have to pay more or less money for another model that I don't really want, but there is no way in hell I am leaving here without an IPAD2 since I have been waiting in line for over an hour and I have been waiting for this day for over a week now and......   

"OK SIR.  Here is your Ipad Guarantee Sheet.  Congratulations and Enjoy"

When the voices stopped.

Upon receiving that piece of paper, I was confident the end was near.  After waiting in like for almost 2 hours at this point, the front of the door must be close right.  Once i turned the corner, I realize how wrong i was.  If you notice in the picture to the left, the turn I made was at the very far left edge of the building.  Clearly I had some time to kill.  

At just after 6pm, the win had picked up, then sun was going down and I was freezing.  I politely asked the people being and in front of me to "save my spot" as I needed to get a jacket.  I knew in my mind that I clearly had enough time to walk home and back to get that sweater before I got to the door, but for some reason I ran.  I ran like I've never ran before.  I can't explain the excitement that was running through my body that day.  All over a piece of metal with glass and plastic parts inside of it.  Even though my car was parked 1/2 a mile away, I was back in line, snug as button, in a shade under 3 seconds. 

There was definitely a buzz around us all as we slowly inched our way to the door.  Everyone was laughing, people were making new friends and the people coming out of the store with new IPads were receiving applause!  Life was good!  Then, all of the sudden, a sudden hush came over the crowd as everyone turned to look at the back of the line.  I like to compare the moment to sitting on the doc of a lake at dusk and hearing the millions of crickets stop singing there songs, all at once.  As I turned around, I quickly realized that the line behind me had gotten dramatically shorter.  So much so that there were only 12 people behind me now.  Me, being the naive newbie Ipad buyer that I was, instantly thought that all those people simply got fed up with waiting in line.  

We all know, that was not the case.  

Is there a ride at the end of this line?

"Whatever you do, don't waist your money on the added stuff they are going to try and sell you!  Take the scratch resistant screen cover.  You can get that on-line on EBay, for like 6 bucks."  Before I replied to my new friend I made in line, I thought to myself, "Wow, I barely made it.  I was almost cut off from the rest of my platoon!  The sea of people, that were once clinging on for dear life in line behind me, were now gone.  Had the sharks got em'?  I wondered as I turned back around to respond to my new friend. 

"Six bucks huh!?  Yeah, no worries bro.  I'm here for one thing and one thing only.  I'm not wasting a moment of my time with the bells n whistles.  Just gimmie' my IPAD!"

It wasn't long into our accessories discussion that I soon realized that I had just barely made it.  I was one of the few lucky ones that would get an Ipad today.  Had I hit one more red light, gone down another street or searched for a closer parking spot, I might not be here right now.  My quest could have been over before it even started.  That wasn't the case though.  I was here.  I made it.  I had survived.  With just a six people standing in front of me before I too could enter the store, I realized, I had made it.  


Next In Line.

As I took another step closer to my goal, It felt as if my chest was going to explode.  I felt like a kid on Christmas.  Remember that feeling you would get when you were just a young lad?  We would wake up at the crack of dawn and run so fast to the Christmas tree to see what Santa had brought us, that our little feeties would barely touch the ground.  Ok, Ok, I am 32 now and I still act that way on Christmas morning, but that is an entirely different blog.  

I made it!  I was next.  I waited all this time to finally be first in line.  Doesn't that sound strange?  Anyways, it was my turn.  I gazed back to the soldiers behind me.  My head held hi.  I felt as if they were looking to me as there leader.  I was sure that at any moment they would all get down on there knees and bow to the almighty Chris.  "I brought you this far my soldiers, the rest of the journey you must take on your own."  

And with that, I was in.  

Talk to the hand.

Just like a kid on Christmas, i felt as if i was sprinting into BestBuy, feverishly looking for that magical apple Christmas tree.  My heart was pounding harder then ever now.  App after app after app flew through my head.  Which would be my first download?  How will I organize my folders?  Will I be the only one i personally know with an IPad2?  If so, who will I face time with?  

As the thoughts raced through my head I nearly slammed into a bunch of people waiting in line for god knows what.  Who were these peons and why where they in the way of the almighty Chris?  Don't they know who I am?  Don't they know why I am here?  

As I eagerly tried to pass get around these people, a gentle, but firm hand, planted itself on my shoulder and began speaking in English.  I looked at the hand I replied back.  "How can I help you today good hand?"  An honest chuckle bellowed out from the hands owner and replied, "The line is over hear." 

"WHAT?"  Wait.  There must be some sort of mistake.  I am here for the IPad2. I just waited in line for two and a half hours for it."  To which the voice replied, "Yeah.  The line is over hear."  With a faint, but manly sigh, i took my place, yet again, at the back of the line.  It wasn't very long before I realized that this line was very short.  It didn't wrap around the entire store like I imagined it did upon first glance.  No sir, this line was merely 20 people in length and was moving at a much quicker pace.   

Turning machinery into art.

One after another they rejoiced.  Each one expressing there own version of bliss and accomplishment.  Some dancing, some screaming and others just simply held there new Ipad close to there chest and exited the store with a smile so big, it belonged on the moon.   

Throughout this quest, my friend Ivet and I were texting each other status updates of our place in line, along with photos of our progress.  It was through these photos that i saw I was clearly winning the Ipad race as I was inside the store, just steps from the finish line, while Ivet's photos were showing her progress, outside the store.  

With just two people in front of me now, I found myself gazing at the wealth of accessories already available for the IPad2.  If you remember earlier in the story I mentioned that "I was here only for the goods."  Accessories smeshories right?  WRONG!  

The team that Steve Jobs has around him, building these spectacular products, is simply amazing.  I honestly can't find the right words to express the genius's I consider him and his crew to be.  Steve Jobs is not only the face behind apple, he is the brains.  He alone has changed our computing lives, by injecting creativity into these amazing products.  The new IPad2 Cover for lack of a better term, is Brilliant.  I ask you this.  When has a cover for ANYTHING looked good.  The answer.  NEVER!  
Apple has revolutionized the way we find information, the way we capture memories and the way we connect with each other.  Apple has turned a clunky piece of machinery and turned it into a work of art.  A computer that is now proudly displayed in homes and not hidden away in some dark room.  Computers as thin as a small book, that can be read as a book, sitting right there on your coffee table.  Proud.  Powerful....


NEXT!

As I'm sure many of you can attest, there are moments in time that seem to slow down to a crawl.  By that I mean those present moments when everyone around you seems to be moving in slow motion, whatever noise has been polluting your eardrums is now gone and in the moment you feel like a god.  I don't know how to explain it any better than that, but we've all had those moments in which we seem to conquer time and truly lose ourselves in that exact moment, instead of just droning through the day like usual.  

However, in that moment, right there in BestBuy, as everything around me slowed to a crawl and I could hear nothing but the beating of my own hear.  In that exact moment i gazed up from ground and at the exact moment of making eye contact with the BestBuy customer service rep, I heard it.  "NEXT!"  
At 32 years of age, there are protocols you are supposed to follow, being that you are a man.  When that one word so eloquently flowed from the mouth of that young woman, which pierced my eardrums as the song of angels, manhood went right out the window.  From where I stood next in line, to the counter where my golden ticket would be cashed, was quite possibly 5-8 yards away.  I didn't causally walk to the counter, like every other adult in the store was.  No.  Not me.  When she so sweetly beckoned "NEXT", I was at the front of the counter before the (T) in N-E-X-T had left her mouth.  I yelled out a big "YYEEEESSSSSS  AAAAAHHHH FINALLY!!", and had my credit card and drivers license out for the transaction.

WINNER WINNER SHEEN DINNER!

Yes!  Thank you for that Charlie Sheen!  Anyways, as the initial shock wore off that I was finally standing in front of the counter where I would present my ticket and receive my IPad2, I looked around to see everyone in the area flat out staring at me.  Did it bother me?  Of course not.  I was happy.  I was excited.  I was showing true and honest emotion for something I don't need, can absolutely live without and have no business spending $650 smackers on.  I was buying myself something that I wanted.  Something for me.  Something for all my hard work.  I was rewarding myself for being the awesome guy that I am, and you know what.  It felt amazing.  

Let them stair!  At this point i would have broken into song and dance without the slightest bit of remorse.  

As i typed in my super secret pin code on my debit card, the was a bit of a long pause.  "Was I over my limit?  Would the credit card company decline the transaction?  Did I not have enough money in my ...."  bzzit-bezzz-bzziit-zzeee-zziit-zeeet-bzzz-bzit.. And then the register started to throw up a purchase receipt so long, the customer service rep had to fold it 3 times before putting it into the bag.  As I lunged for my product the lady that rung me up went into what seemed like the longest sshpeal about if I was to receive a call to please give her a 10 on customer service and that on my receipt I could enter a contest and win 5 Billion dollars just for my opinion, Blah blah blah.  Believe me, that was the short version.  In the complete state of shock i was in, I could not be rude and cut her off, when all i wanted to do was be home by now, playing with my amazing new toy.  

As I turned around, peoples heads once again turned to look at me as If I was so space alien with two heads and a tail.  To appease them I dropped to my knees, kissed my new Ipad2, looked up, held it to the sky and said "FINALLY!" Everyone started to laugh and I even got a few rounds of applause for my performance.  

Victory was ours that day my friends. 

Upon exiting the BestBuy that night, I stopped and texted my good friend Ivet to see how she was doing in her quest for her IPAD2.  I mostly wanted to gloat to be honest with you.  Part of me didn't want to text as I would have been sad if she went through what I went through and was unable to finish on top.  None the less I took multiple pictures with my new Ipad and sent her one proving that night who the victor in the race for the Ipad2 was.  Since I was the first to send the picture, I had won.  To this day I'm not sure if Ivet even knew there was a race, but there was.  The fact that she didn't know about it isn't my fault.  Its hers.  I'm very competitive!

As I reached the exit doors, i took a gaze back into the store with my shoulders back, my head held hi and the weirdest sense of pride you could ever imagine.  Basically I waited in line for hours for a new toy.  Big deal right?  Well, for some reason it meant the world to me and I was proud.  I was one of the few to get the new Ipad 2 while millions of others to this point are still waiting for there's!  

This was truly an experience all in its own.  I met some great people in line and the entire experience was fun.  There was no ride at the end of this crazy line.  Just someone standing there waiting to take a bunch of money from me in exchange for a small box.  I am not sure that I would ever do it again, as this was the first time I had ever wanted to be one of the first to get the new "thing".  I am pretty sure once was enough, but an experience I thought everyone should go through at least once in there life.  Waiting in line for my new IPAD2 was much like waiting in line for a concert.  Everyone is there for the same reason.  Everyone shares the same love, passion and excitement for this one thing.  Hundreds of grown-ups, waiting in line, full of excitement and wonderment like children on Christmas morning.  

Written By:  Chris Petrini | march.2011
**All photos are property of their rightful owners.  I do not own these photo and proudly admit that I have taken the time to link up to the original photo, giving its photographer proper credit.  No animals were harmed in the making of this blog post.